


City, Sing Him to His Sleep

by Yukio



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 08:30:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16869604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yukio/pseuds/Yukio
Summary: Something is going on with Leo and Mikey gets really worried about his mate. A mortal disease is eating at Leo's body and no matter how much his family loves him, there's nothing they can do except being there for him and trying to make his last days the most beautiful they can.The story won in the TMNT Reader's Choice Award 2018:1st place in the Most Heartbreaking Tragedy category3nd place in the Best Canon category





	City, Sing Him to His Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> I want Chercherin for helping with the story and Ravenshell for editing it and coming up with the title. Thank you, girls! You are big help.

They didn’t know when it started. A demon settled in their home, silent and unnoticed. Hidden from their attention, it was growing stronger.

The first sign of its presence came with a small crease of skin on Leo’s forehead, talking about headaches. None of them thought much about it. Headaches were nothing unusual and they all experienced them from time to time. Painkillers normally solved the problem and when they didn’t Donnie made Leo lie down in a dark room with a wet compress on his forehead and fed him antimigraine drugs.

Some time had passed when Mikey noticed the crease indicating Leo’s headaches started appearing on their leader’s forehead more often. Leo, being Leo, never complained about his discomfort. He either went to rest in his room or carried on with the day as if it was no big deal. Therefore no one anticipated that something serious could be going on with him – nothing rational at least. Despite Leo telling Mikey he was fine, no worries, just a little headache, really nothing to be concerned about, and Donnie’s reasoning that migraines could turn worse with age, Mikey’s gut was telling him there was something more sinister going on with the person by whose side he wanted to grow old. And he was ready to do whatever was needed to figure out what was wrong with Leo and help him the best he could.

One day, while his lover was training with Master Splinter, the orange-masked nunchuck wielder sneaked into Leo’s room in order to find any clue that could tell him more about the blue-masked ninja’s condition.

At first sight the room looked neat and tidy as ever. There was nothing out of place, nothing that would give away more than that Leo loved order. His bed was perfectly made without any crease on the sheets, his books were standing like soldiers on shelves, and the bonsai on his table could hardly complain about too much or too little water. But Mikey knew that the things one wanted to hide wouldn’t be kept where anyone could see them. So the sea green turtle sank on his knees and looked under Leo’s bed. Of course, he found nothing there except a few fluffs of dust.

He sat on his heels and looked around again.

“If I were Leo, where would I keep my secrets?” he mumbled under his breath as he was thinking about possible hiding places. According to Mikey, Leo was rather predictable. What more, he surely didn’t expect anyone to search through his room…

A grin spread across Mikey’s lips as his eyes landed on the bedside table. Still on his knees, he came closer to the piece of furniture and pulled the first drawer open.

The sight made his breath hitch in his lungs. The drawer was full of bottles and boxes of different kinds of painkillers and antimigraine drugs, some empty, some still containing a few pills. Mikey picked up one after another and tried to read the names of the medicaments, but some of them were so hard to pronounce that he gave up pretty soon. He put the boxes and bottles back and closed the drawer. Now he had a proof there was something seriously messed up with Leo, but their leader was too proud to show any weakness to his brothers… to HIM. Mikey felt betrayed. As partners, shouldn’t the two of them share such things? It wasn’t like Mikey wanted to know Leo’s every secret, but hiding something so big was a dick move from Leo. Didn’t he trust his mate?

Mikey decided that if Leo didn’t want to talk to him, the orange-masked ninja was going to talk to Donnie. The medications must have come from somewhere, right? So Mikey was sure that Donnie had something to say about that.

He left Leo’s room and headed to Donnie’s lab. He didn’t expect his genius brother to be anywhere else (unless he was in Raph’s bed and sure as shell Mikey wasn’t going to look for him there).

As he came closer, he noticed that the door of the lab was ajar and Mikey could clearly hear his purple-masked brother’s rather annoyed voice.

“Leo, I can’t give you more painkillers. Or stronger ones.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t have any,” Donnie said, and there was something more in his undertone than mere aggravation.

Mikey sneaked closer to listen to the conversation.

“You think I don’t know where all those medications disappeared?” Donnie went on.

“I needed them,” Leo mumbled so quietly that Mikey almost didn’t catch the words.

There was a long sigh.

“Let me give you a check-up,” Donnie said after a short pause.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re far from fine if you need to gulp so many pills.”

“I said I’m fine, Donnie.” Leo’s tone was low and menacing.  

There was a moment of tense silence during which Mikey could hear his own heart beating wildly. Could Donnie and Leo hear it, too?

“Please.” Desperation in Donnie’s voice made Mikey shiver.

“No!” Leo barked furiously. “Leave me alone.”

The sound of his footsteps as he walked to the door was heavy and aggressive. Mikey barely managed to jump aside as the door opened and Leo came out from the lab.

Their eyes met. During that split of second Mikey died and went to Hell, then he came back to stare into the dark pits of Leo’s pupils. He always could see himself in their depths, but right now there was nothing. The only thing gazing back at Mikey was helpless anger.

“Leo…” he whispered with urgency lacing his tone.

“Gear up, we’re going out,” Leo ordered. His voice wasn’t as sharp as a blade of a knife anymore, but Leo didn’t need to cut Mikey’s heart to cause him pain. The words fell hard on Mikey’s soul like a rock, crushing it mercilessly.

Leo walked away, not chancing a second look at his lover.

Chills ran up Mikey’s spine, causing him to shiver. He wrapped his arms around his torso, feeling as if warmth was being sucked out of him. He glanced into the lab where Donnie was sitting in his chair.

“I’m so sorry,” the wreck of his purple-masked brother said. In that instant Mikey knew that good times were gone.

*

A half-hour later the four turtle brothers were standing on a rooftop, watching the night city beneath them. They were mostly silent as though there was nothing to talk about. Before they had left the lair, Leo declared that this trip topside was about replenishing the medical supplies they were short of. Raph had pointed out that while they were going out, they should stop by a grocery as well. Leo didn’t seem to have anything against it, but he insisted on going to a drug store first.

The cool breeze played with the ends of their masks as they started climbing down a fire escape. The dark back alley provided them with the shelter they needed to escape unwanted attention. Leo went first, checking the ground under them as they descended into the darkness. Mikey followed right after his big brother, then Donnie and Raph.

Leo jumped down from the last step. Mikey waited a little so that his brother could move, and then he jumped after him. He was just moving from the spot under the fire escape so that Donnie could follow him when he noticed Leo leaning against the wall with his hand. It was just a moment and their leader was standing upright again as if nothing had ever happened. Mikey looked around at his other two brothers, but they didn’t seem to notice anything.

The drug store was just behind the corner and with the experiences they already had in getting into the store it was hardly a challenging mission.

“The coast is clear. Let’s go,” Leo said, and an expression of deep concentration settled on his face – the sight so familiar to Mikey and there was still something off about it. It took him a few seconds to realize that such an easy task shouldn’t require so much mental effort.

Leo took the first step which lacked its usual grace. The leader staggered and before his brothers could react, he fell down like a cut tree.

“Leo!” a desperate cry left Mikey’s mouth as he jumped to his lover. The forest green body was lying there on the cold ground, motionless, and Mikey’s heart skipped a beat when the worst possible scenario crossed his mind.

“What the shell is wrong with him?” Raph said as he watched Donnie, who knelt next to their leader and started examining his possible injuries caused by the fall.

“Just unconscious,” Donnie announced after a moment that felt like eternity. “He’ll have a few bruises, but that’s not what concerns me. Let’s get him home, I need to have a proper look at him.”

Raph nodded and reached for their big brother. He wrapped Leo’s arm around his neck, holding him securely. Mikey hurried to help him and supported Leo’s weight from the other side while Donnie disappeared in the darkness to look for the nearest manhole cover.

“Guys, here!” they could hear him after a moment.

It took them some time to get Leo, who was still unconscious, into the sewers. They needed to be extremely careful. Thanks to the team effort and Donnie’s readiness for almost any situation they eventually managed to get their brother safely into the sewers.

They didn’t get far when Leo suddenly stirred and raised his head, bleary eyes blinking in an attempt to focus.

“Leo, how are you feeling?” Mikey asked him immediately, his heart hammering in his chest as he and Raph helped Leo to the ground.

Leo didn’t answer. He sat down, his carapace pressed against the wall behind his back. As they freed his arms, he rubbed his eyes and looked at them again, puzzlement written in his face.

“What… happened?” he asked, his voice low and hoarse.

“You passed out,” Donnie said softly. He knelt in front of Leo and touched his head gently, his fingers ghosting over the place where Leo’s head had hit the ground. “Does it hurt?”

Leo fixed his eyes on him, but he didn’t seem to understand what Donnie wanted from him. He looked around. “Where… are we?”

“In the sewers,” Donnie spoke to Leo in that low, peaceful voice of his. He didn’t show any sign of anxiety. Mikey didn’t understand how his purple-masked brother could be so calm when he felt like he was going to die out of worry for their big brother. His lover. His whole world.  

“The drug store?” Leo asked, memories coming back to him.

“We didn’t make it there, or to the grocery,” Raph joined the conversation and bent to their leader to help him on his feet. Leo seemed reluctant to accept the help, but it was obvious he was kind of dizzy. It hurt seeing him like that.

“We need to go back. We…” he started only to be cut off by his emerald green brother.

“The only place you need to go back is home,” Raph announced uncompromisingly.

“But we need…”

“To get your painkillers, I get it,” Raph said impatiently as he slowly walked with Leo, whose steps were unsteady and it was obvious that without Raph’s help he wouldn’t have made it too far.

“Mikey and I will get you the drugs while you’ll be resting,” Raph continued. “Donnie will stay with you.”

“I don’t need…”

“Shut up. I lead the team now. When you feel better, you can boss us around again as much you want. Okay?” Despite Raph’s harsh words his tone was gentle. He had never spoken with Leo that way and it only made Mikey even more worried.

Leo didn’t answer Raph’s question, but the sole fact that he didn’t protest anymore meant that he truly didn’t feel well. Which Leo would never have admitted out loud. He was their leader, their protector; he always needed to be strong for them. Mikey knew too well what made their leader tick. The problem was the things he didn’t know and Leo stubbornly refused to talk about.

The journey home took much longer than usual. Every step Leo made seemed to cost him a lot of energy. He was tired, but when Mikey came to help Raph carry him, Leo refused and only leaned more against the emerald body supporting him. 

When they finally returned to the lair, Raph helped Leo onto the couch. The blue-masked ninja seemed to be relieved that he made it back home. He looked totally exhausted and rather sick. His skin was pale and his eyes lacked the light Mikey could always see when he looked in them.

He knelt on the floor beside Leo and put his hand on his lover’s knee. He didn’t expect him to talk; he only hoped to find the closeness that had always been between them again.

But Leo didn’t react. He lowered his head in his hands as if he had a headache.

“Leo,” Mikey addressed him quietly, but Donnie was already there, usurping all Leo’s attention.

“Leo, you should finally let me have a look at you,” he said, and his hand touched lightly Leo’s shoulder.

Mikey’s blue-masked brother lifted his head abruptly. He stiffened and his brow furrowed, his teeth gritted in pain the sudden movement caused him.

“No,” he growled and shook Donnie’s hand from his shoulder.

“Leo, if you let me, I may be able to help you,” Donnie insisted.

“I’m _fine_ ,” Leo said with emphasis on the last word.

“You’re not fine,” Raph countered. “Come on, I’ll help you to Donnie’s lab.” He bent to Leo from the side where Mikey wasn’t sitting, but Leo swatted his hands away, irritated.

“Leave me alone, will you?”

“Leo…” Mikey decided to support his brothers. Fear was clawing at his heart and he didn’t understand why Leo fought against the check-up so vehemently. Donnie was the only one who could name the problem and find a solution. Why didn’t Leo trust him? What was he so afraid of?

“We only want to help you,” he continued in a soft, pleading tone.

For the first time since he had woken up in the sewers, Leo looked at Mikey. His blue eyes were dark and empty; no warmth reflected in them, only betrayal that sent chills up Mikey’s spine.

Leo stood up, still looking at Mikey in that accusatory way. “No,” he barked and set off for his room, his steps unsteady but determined. No one went to help him this time.

Mikey’s eyes misted with unshed tears as he watched his lover struggle like that. He didn’t get that stubbornness. It was breaking his heart, but whatever he did, nothing seemed to be good enough. Leo refused their efforts and the more they tried the more distant he was.

“I’m going to inform Father,” Donnie interrupted the awkward silence and walked off, leaving Mikey and Raph alone.

A tear rolled down Mikey’s cheek. He still kept staring in the direction where Leo disappeared from his sight behind the door of his room, but he saw nothing. The world became a blur, dark and cold.

He winced when he felt Raph’s hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t take it personally.” His brother talked to him in a low, soft voice, so uncharacteristic for him. “You know Leo. He’s fucking stubborn. He doesn’t want you to see him like this. He sees it as his failure.”

Mikey turned to Raph, big blue eyes fixed on the red-masked ninja’s face.

“The only failure I can see is his fucking stubbornness!” he cried, his fear and frustration giving the fuel to his anger. Yes, he was mad – at Leo that he was such a moron, at Raph for being suddenly so nice and not dragging Leo into Donnie’s lab, at Donnie giving in to Leo’s moods, and at Master Splinter for not stepping in and ordering their big brother to stop being a brat and let them take care of him. He was mad at himself that he hadn’t noticed sooner that his lover had a problem. Everything could have been different.

But it wasn’t. Things were going from bad to worse and Mikey was _terrified_. He wanted to know what was wrong, even if the information would crush him. Everything was better than this uncertainty. He didn’t understand why Leo was avoiding Donnie’s examination so persistently. What was he afraid of so much?

Mikey stiffened and looked at Raph, his blue eyes big with sudden realization.

“Leo’s scared,” he said quietly.

“What?”

“Leo’s scared of what Donnie could find out. He prefers not knowing to possible bad news.”

“That’s stupid,” Raph said, but he didn’t sound so sure.

“Is it?” Mikey challenged. “I think Leo is much worse than he lets on.” With that statement Mikey turned around, heading for his room. His every step was faster and faster; he could barely hold the tears until he got in his room. When he finally shut the door behind his back, wet trails were already stretching down his cheeks.

*

Mikey would have loved to say that things didn’t change (or changed for the better) in the days to come, but he would have been lying. The first big change was when Leo had a fight with Master Splinter. That fact itself was so absolutely incomprehensible and ridiculous that Mikey had a hard time to believing that he wasn’t sleeping or visiting some strange alternate universe. Even Raph stayed quiet and seemed to be rather willing to stay out of the fuming Leo’s way. Donnie shut himself in his lab, and when Mikey peeked in, his purple-masked brother was studying something on the internet. As for Master Splinter, no one had seen him that day anymore. Whether he left the lair or stayed in his room, the boys didn’t know.

It was almost midnight when their father joined them again. Leo was still in his room and he was deaf even to Mikey’s begging to open the door and let him in. Seeing that, Splinter visited Donnie in his lab and it took him a long time to come out again. When Mikey asked him what they were talking about for so long, Donnie turned him down with a question of his own:

“Has Leo come out of his room already?”

“No, not yet,” Mikey said quietly, feeling like it was his personal defeat.

Donnie sighed heavily. “It’s time to get him out of there,” he said flatly before he walked out of his lab. Mikey was right at his heels, curious what his brother was up to.

Donnie walked right to the door of Leo’s room. When he knocked, it wasn’t that soft sound that Mikey was so used to with his gentle brother. It was a hard, determined knock that spoke volumes about how Donnie felt.

“Leo, open up!” Donnie called in a commanding voice. Mikey had never heard him to use such a tone, especially with Leo. Even Raph came out from the dojo, where he was releasing his frustration on his punching bag, to see what was going on.

“Leo!”

“Go away,” Mikey could hear from behind the door.

“I’m not going anywhere unless you open the door,” Donnie said in a firm tone.

“What part of ‘leave me alone’ don’t you understand?” Leo growled, leaving the door locked.

“You either open the door yourself or I’m getting a lockpick. And you’re not going to like what Raph, Mikey and I are going to do to you when we get inside,” Donnie threatened, and even Mikey knew that Donnie meant what he said. He caught his brother’s eye and he nodded his agreement. If there was a slightest chance to get Leo out of his room, then Mikey was all in.

Raph came closer, his hands balled in fists. Judging from his expression, Mikey knew his red-masked brother was ready to do anything that was needed to get their stubborn eldest sibling out of hiding.

There was silence for a few seconds, but then the lock clicked and the door opened, revealing one totally pissed-off Leo. Mikey gulped when he saw him. He couldn’t remember when he saw Leo so angry.

It was obvious that he was going to say something, maybe shout at them to finally leave him alone – but he never got to it. When he opened his mouth, no sound came out of it. Leo’s eyes rolled in their sockets and their brother was falling to the cold concrete floor.

Mikey felt like he was in a silent, closed caption movie. He thought Donnie yelled something, but he wasn’t sure. Raph ran past him, pushing Mikey out of his way. The orange-masked brother just stared, not sure what was going on. This was just a bad dream, right? Everything felt so surreal.

“Mikey!” sharp voice pierced through the haze in his mind. He winced and looked at Donnie, who was watching him worriedly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Mikey said, even though he wasn’t okay at all. His heart was being crushed under the weight of worry.

Donnie nodded in acknowledgment. “Can you bring Leo a glass of water, please?” he asked his youngest brother.

Mikey’s attention turned to the bed on which Leo was lying and staring back at him. His eyes were dark, darker than usual.

“Please,” Leo croaked, and Mikey nodded. He turned around and left the room where the genius was taking care of his lover.

He noticed only now that Raph wasn’t in the room anymore. Mikey hadn’t even noticed when he left. The last couple of minutes were like lost time. He had been there and seen everything, but he still didn’t know what had happened.

He ran into the kitchen and took a glass out of a cupboard. He poured water into it and set off on his way back to Leo’s room.

“Leo, why don’t you let me have a look at you?” He could hear his purple-masked brother’s soft voice as he neared the door, and his heart started beating faster. He half-expected more yelling, but when Leo spoke, his voice was similarly low and soft like Donnie’s.

“Because I know what it is,” the blue-masked ninja said. “You’re not the only one who can use the internet, Donnie.” If the situation wasn’t so serious, Mikey would have sworn Leo sounded amused.

 “You used to call me a doctor. Do you know what doctors don’t like?” Donnie said, attuning to Leo’s tone. “When patients try to outsmart them.”

Silence followed. Mikey was trying to calm down his raicing heart. He was standing there in front of Leo’s room, looking for courage to enter. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled when Leo spoke again:

“It’s better this way, Donnie. Trust me.”

The sound of breaking glass that followed drowned out a sob that escaped a bleeding heart.

*

Donnie left Leo alone for the rest of the day, but everyone knew it wasn’t because of what Leo had said to him, but because of Mikey’s breakdown. The orange-masked ninja was currently curled up in Leo’s arms and his quiet sobs were the only sound that could be heard in the room at the moment. Mikey was tightly pressed to his lover, his arms wrapped around the other body.

His heart was broken. A million small sharp shards were cutting right into his soul.

He fell asleep, having nightmares about scary, invisible enemies, who wanted to take the love of his life away. When he woke up later, he realized that his dreams were actually reality. There was this enemy, a nameless demon that was taking Leo away from him bit by bit. 

Donnie came to check on them in the morning. The room was still quiet, Mikey and Leo hadn’t talked to each other since the previous day. But when Donnie asked them how they were doing, the bubble of imaginary security snapped.

Mikey hid his face in the tight embrace.

“He’ll be fine,” Leo said softly. He sat up on his bed, pulling Mikey, who didn’t want to let go, with him. He ran his hands over his lover’s shell in a soothing manner.

Mikey sniffed quietly and raised his head to look at Leo.

“Am I losing you?” he asked, his voice breaking.

Leo looked at him and there was something in his eyes that gave Mikey shivers. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

“What is it, Leo? What’s up with you?” he asked, his voice trembling with fear, but he needed to know the demon’s name so that he knew how to fight it.

Leo and Donnie exchanged a glance.

Mikey knew he was not going to get his answer from this and he was truly fed up with Leo’s stubbornness already. He pulled away from him and turned to his purple-masked brother.

“Donnie, what do you think it is?” he asked.

Donnie glanced at their big brother. “I don’t know, Mikey. That’s why I want to check Leo.”

Mikey didn’t give up. “But you have a theory, right?”

Donnie sighed. “Yes, I do. But I can’t be sure without an examination.”

“What’s your theory? What is it?” Mikey insisted.

Donnie glanced at Leo again. “It is…” he started hesitantly, but it was Leo, who finished the sentence:

“It’s a brain tumor.”

*

Thus the cat was out of the bag. Each member of the family dealt with it in the only way they knew. Master Splinter retired to his room and meditated in order to find his inner balance and strength to face his sons, especially Leonardo, who needed his fatherly support. Raph was torturing his punching bag, taking his frustration on the sorry material that started ripping a few days prior and sand was already pouring out of it through the loose seam that no one had taken care of. Donnie shut himself in his lab, searching the World Wide Web frantically for answers. Leo barely talked to anyone and stayed in his room for mostly, usually suffering from a headache or trying to avoid another accident regarding passing out. When Donnie came to check on him, he complained about his vision getting blurred from time to time.

Mikey’s world collapsed. It lost its colors and warmth, everything that stayed was coldness and dull pain that didn’t want to go away. He wished he could run away and forget everything. He wished to leave the fears and suffering behind. He wished to be able to forget his love, forget Leo and the demon that was taking him away from all of them.

But he couldn’t. Despite his selfish wish, he couldn’t just take off and leave behind everything that he cared about so dearly even though it cost him so much pain. He felt guilty for feeling like that and he hated himself for it. His family needed him. _Leo_ needed him. And the only thing he was able to do was sitting on the couch and staring at the blank TV screen. The fact that his family left him alone was the unmistakable sign that things were really bad.

“Mikey,” a soft voice addressed him.

When he raised his head, he could see April. He remembered that she and Casey had come to the lair, but he had no idea how long they had already been there and what they were doing. He lived in a bubble, keeping everything else outside.

So when April came and spoke to him, it felt like an intruder trying to invade his safe haven. He cast his gaze down when she sat next to him.

“I’m so sorry, Mikey,” she said in a soft, sorrowful voice. “How are you doing?”

Mikey shrugged and turned away from her. He didn’t feel like talking. He didn’t feel like socializing with anyone. He wanted to be left alone.

“Leo!” he heard someone. He raised his head and looked around. He spotted Leo, holding onto a wall and rubbing his eyes. His big brother didn’t look as much in pain as he looked confused. Mikey ran to him, the wounds in his heart reopening. It hurt seeing the proud, strong Leo like this.

“Leo, why aren’t you in bed?” Mikey asked his lover and took his hand, wrapping his big brother’s arm around his neck to support him. Raph was there, too, holding Leo from the other side.

“You should be resting,” he said in his gruff voice.

“Leo, do you need anything?” April asked softly as she came up to them. “Shall I bring you something?”

Mikey hated himself for not being the one who asked that. If Leo was out of his room, it meant he wanted something.

“You could’ve called,” he said quietly.

“I…” Leo started and then looked around. He blinked and shook his head. “Donnie? Where’s Donnie?”

“His lab. Let’s go,” Raph said.

April walked ahead to warn Donnie they were coming. When they entered the lab, the genius instructed them to put Leo on the medical cot. The moment Mikey let go of his lover, Leo locked his eyes with his. Mikey froze, feeling as though Leo was looking right into his treacherous soul and knew – knew everything about the feelings and thoughts Mikey wasn’t proud of.

Leo blinked and the spell was lifted. Mikey stepped back to make room for his purple-masked brother, but his eyes never left Leo. The forest green turtle hunched his shoulders and lowered his head in a sign of resignation. The fact he was not wearing his gear added to the impression of vulnerability.

Leo had put away his gear, claiming it was binding him when he wanted to be free. It didn’t make any sense to Mikey, but it wasn’t the only thing Leo had said where no one understood what he meant.

Donnie drew his chair to the cot in front of Leo and sat down. “How are you feeling?” he asked in his doctor voice.

“Like shit.” The bluntness of the statement caused Mikey, Raph, April, and Casey, who joined them in the lab, look at each other. Leo hardly ever cursed. The only one who kept a straight face was Donnie.  

“I’m listening,” the purple-masked ninja encouraged their brother to tell him more.

“I’m tired all the time and my vision blurs, especially when I have a headache.”

“Do you have a headache right now?”

Leo took a deep breath. “Yes.”

“I’ll get you painkillers,” Donnie said softly. Mikey admired him for staying so calm when he felt like climbing walls.

Leo looked at Donnie, puzzled. “I thought we didn’t have any.”

“Raph and I brought some last night,” Donnie explained. “Do you want me to take a better look at you?”

Leo stayed quiet. He lowered his head, but then he raised it again and gave Donnie that scrutinizing look that bored right into one’s soul.

“What if we are right? What then?” he asked, his voice low.

“Then we’ll know for sure.”

“Yes, but what then? What will you do, Donnie? We both know you don’t have the equipment.”

Donnie’s eyes darkened. “I’ll build it. Or steal it. I don’t care.”

A shadow of a smile flew over Leo’s face. “How do you plan to steal CT scanner? Or any other modern stuff that is needed? I don’t doubt that you have the skill to cut into my brain, but I also know that you need precise diagnostics. And even though I’m sure you’d be able to build all of that and even better, these things need time and I’m afraid I don’t have that much.”

They stared at each other for a moment, but then Donnie pushed his chair away from Leo abruptly and stood up; flames appeared in his eyes, but swiftly turned into ash. Leo was right and Donnie realized that.

Suddenly the air lacked oxygen, or it was just Mikey’s lungs refusing to take a life-giving breath. The walls of the lair seemed to be falling down on him, crushing him, turning him into nothing.

He was trapped. There was nowhere to run. Everything was lost.

Blackness captured him in a merciful embrace…

*

Mikey opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was the concrete ceiling of Donnie’s lab, but when he tried to look around, a smiling though concerned face blocked his view. Dark blue eyes locked with his and Mikey could see his reflection in their depths.

His hand was captured in a warm grip. It felt nice having his fingers twined with the other turtle’s, even nicer when his hand was pulled to the forest green lips that delivered a gentle kiss on Mikey’s knuckles.

“You scared me.” Leo’s voice was low and gruff.

Mikey kept watching Leo’s face; memories were slowly coming back to him.

“Leo!” he suddenly cried and sat up abruptly, his eyes fixed on Leo’s tired face.

“I’m here,” Leo’s voice was even quieter, but he never stopped holding Mikey’s hand. “I’m always here.”

 _Not for long,_ Mikey thought, but he didn’t say it out loud. “What happened?” he asked instead.

“You passed out,” Donnie’s voice sounded, and the purple-masked ninja appeared by Leo’s side. “I need to have a look at you.”

“Come on, champ. It’s time for you to go to bed.”

Mikey’s attention shifted and he could see Raph put his hand on Leo’s shoulder. Were the two of them there the whole time? It made sense after all. If Leo was allowed to stay by Mikey’s side despite his condition, then someone was surely there, keeping an eye on him.

“But…” Leo looked at Raph, then at Donnie with plea in his eyes.

“When I’m done with Mikey, I’ll send him right to you,” Donnie said gently.

A small smile played on Leo’s lips. He nodded and turned to Mikey. “I guess I’ll see you later.” He leaned to him and kissed his cheek. Then he allowed Raph to help him on his feet, but Leo had barely stood up when his legs gave way. Raph reacted immediately and before Leo could fall down, the red-masked brother scooped him in his arms. Without saying a word, Raph carried their big brother and leader out of the lab.

Mikey watched them until Raph exited the room. The heartbreaking sight drew tears into his eyes. Mikey tried to wipe them away, but they kept gathering, rolling down his cheeks in thin wet streams. Donnie sat down in the chair Leo had occupied and took his little brother’s hand.

“I know what you’re going through,” he said softly. “You’re feeling helpless and desperate. We’re losing him and there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“You can,” Mikey said, eyes fixed on Donnie. “You always can.”

Donnie lowered his head and shook it. “Not this time, I’m sorry.” He looked at Mikey again. “Leo is right. I don’t have the equipment for such a complex surgery. I need precise diagnostics so that I’d be able to determine the whole extent of the tumor. I’d need to know how bad it is and, judging from Leo’s condition, we might already be too late. Opening his skull and cutting his brain can cost him the little life he’s got left.”

Mikey watched his brother’s face, but through the wet haze in front of his eyes, the only thing he could see was a blurred figure.

“So you’re not going to do anything?” he asked, irritation lacing his tone.

“That’s not what I said.” Donnie kept his tone low and calm.

“So what? What are you going to do if not to save him?”

Donnie sighed. “You must understand that this is not easy for me. I’m losing my brother, my leader, my friend, and my confidant. I may not be in love with him, but he means as much to me as he does to you. That’s why I had to decide if I wanted to work my ass off in order to cure him and risk the being too late, or spend the last days of his life with him and try to make them as enjoyable as possible. You know Leo. Family means everything to him. I’ll rather give him that than hunting a shadow of hope and never being able to catch it.” 

Mikey blinked. What Donnie said made sense. 

“That’s why you’re so calm,” he said, finally figuring out the mystery.

“Yes. Because I know that if I broke down, it wouldn’t help anyone. I need to be strong. For all of you.”

Mikey nodded, tears still rolling down his face. “I don’t think I can…”

“You can, Mikey. I know you can,” Donnie said, convinced. “Do you know how I know that? You love him and I know you’d do anything for him. And if filling his last days with smiles and love is the only thing you can do, you’ll do it. You’re the master of keeping your true emotions behind a smiling mask and I know you’ll do it one more time – for him.”

Mikey sniffed quietly. Donnie was right; Leo was Mikey’s whole world. He kept him grounded and focused, he always helped him to harness his energy and use it creatively. He never ever tried to bind him. He understood Mikey’s free spirit and gave it a purpose. He was Mikey’s safe haven. Leo was everything.

“You’re stronger than you think, Mikey,” Donnie continued, laying his hand on Mikey’s shoulder. “I’m asking you, will you do it for Leo?”

Mikey nodded. For Leo, he would smile again. Because a smile was the only thing he could still give him.

“I will,” he said, the words loud and firm.

Donnie smiled. “Great. Now wipe your tears and go to show our leader how much you love him.”

*

Mikey peeked into Leo’s room. He expected his oldest brother to be alone, but Raph was there, sitting in a chair pulled next to Leo’s bed and talking to him in a low voice. Mikey couldn’t hear from his spot what his red-masked brother was saying, but there was a small smile on Leo’s lips, so it couldn’t be anything bad.

He knocked on the door to announce his presence and entered.

“Hey,” he said softly as he walked to the bed, his fake smile curling his lips while his heart was bleeding.

“Hey yourself. How are you?” Leo asked, worry in his eyes.

“Better.” Mikey’s smile widened as he sat down on the bed next to Leo.

“I’ll leave you two.” Raph stood up.

Leo lifted his gaze to his emerald green brother. “Thank you, Raph.”

“No problem,” the red-masked ninja said and bent to Leo. He squeezed his shoulder gently before his attention shifted to Mikey. “Is Donnie still in the lab?”

“Yeah. At least he was when I left there,” Mikey said.

“Okay.” Saying nothing, more Raph walked out of the room.

Mikey turned to Leo, his smile still present on his face. Donnie had been right; Mikey truly was a pro in keeping his mask on.

He cuddled up to Leo’s side and pecked his lips. “How are you feeling?” he asked afterwards.

“Tired,” Leo said, but there was a smile matching Mikey’s, only his was genuine.

“You should rest,” Mikey said gently, dipping his head under Leo’s chin.

Leo wrapped his arms around his lover, holding him close. “I’m resting all the time,” he whispered. “I want to be with you now.”

“I am here and I’m not going anywhere,” Mikey promised, running the tip of his finger over the scratches and scars on Leo’s plastron. So many battles, so many fights, and yet it wasn’t an enemy who defeated his big brother but a disease that was slowly taking his life.  

“Good. I like spending time with you.” Leo’s voice was quiet and soft, and when Mikey raised his head, he could read uncertainty in his lover’s eyes. He understood that Leo might be afraid that Mikey wished to be anywhere but by the side of a dying turtle.

Mikey suppressed the guilt and shame for having had such thoughts just a few days ago. Leo deserved the best and Mikey wanted to give him everything he could.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be,” he whispered against Leo’s lips.

The kiss was slow and tender, turning from a mere touch of their lips into something deeper, more sensual. Mikey tasted his lover’s love and passion that couldn’t be dampened even by the disease. Leo wanted him just like always and when Mikey broke the kiss and pulled away, he could see lust in the depth of Leo’s tired eyes.

He smiled again and caressed his lover’s cheek – the touch so light as though he was touching a porcelain doll. Leo raised his hand and pressed Mikey’s palm to his forest green skin; he turned his head slightly to the side and delivered a small kiss in Mikey’s palm.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I know,” Mikey said with a grin and nuzzled Leo’s face. “How much do you love me?”

“Very much.”

“Do you want to show me how much it is?” Mikey asked, his voice low and silky.

The matching grin, tired but happy, was everything he needed. He connected with Leo in a hot kiss once again before he let his hands roam over his lover’s body. Leo’s response was a deep, excited churr telling Mikey how much his brother was enjoying this. Mikey’s goal was to give Leo everything he had, every bit of himself. He wanted him to feel how much Mikey loved him and cared about him, how much Leo’s happiness meant to him. He wanted Leo to know that he was there for him, always, until the very end. Mikey’s place was by Leo’s side; there he belonged and there he wanted to be.  

He kissed Leo again, slowly sliding one of his hands down Leo’s body. Leo moaned into the kiss, grabbing Mikey’s face and holding him there while exploring the depth of his mouth.

It was a bad idea; Mikey was very well aware of that. Leo was ill and tired and any exercise cost him a lot of energy. But they needed this. They needed to feel their closeness, they needed to feel each other’s touch, they needed to hear each other’s excited churrs, they needed to taste what the other had to offer. They needed proof they both were still alive.

Mikey rose on his knees and straddled Leo’s hips, bringing their lower plastrons together. He rubbed his lower parts against his lover’s crotch, listening with satisfaction to the soft moans and sighs of his brother. Mikey grinned and started kissing Leo’s neck, moving slowly down his body and delivering loving kisses to Leo’s plastron.

“Mikey,” Leo sighed and moaned when the younger turtle’s lips touched the slit where Leo’s cock was hiding.

“Yes, love?” Mikey laughed against Leo’s sensitive parts, sending exciting vibrations through his body.

Leo churred, spreading his legs wider so that Mikey fit better between them.

Minutes were passing by, but as hard as Mikey tried, Leo’s penis never came out. It was obvious that both of them were getting frustrated by the fact.

“I’m sorry,” Leo said quietly.

“Nah, it’s okay,” Mikey said as he sat up and smiled at his lover. He wouldn’t allow Leo to beat himself for something that wasn’t his fault. Such things happened, especially when a disease struck.

“It’s not okay,” Leo whispered, sad eyes fixed on his orange-masked lover.

“You’re just being difficult now,” Mikey scolded him gently, his smile still present on his lips. “You know very well that I don’t need your dick to make you squirm,” he said smugly, bending to Leo’s face, giving him a soft kiss. “Where’s the lube?”

“The bedside table. We put it there the last time we made love.”

The last time… The words resonated through Mikey’s very being. They sounded ominous like the thunder of doom. Mikey remembered the last time they had made love. It had been in this very bed a long time ago when they were still happy and clueless about the future that was waiting for them. They had had hopes and dreams. They had been carefree. Nothing could separate them.

Until now.

Leo’s light could go out any time. Therefore Mikey was determined to make this time, probably their last one, count.

He reached into one of the drawers of the bedside table and pulled out familiar tube. Giving Leo a triumphant grin, he uncapped it and squeezed a generous amount of it on his fingers. With a small kiss on the inner side of Leo’s thigh he reached between his lover’s legs. He gently massaged Leo’s opening before he pushed the first digit into his body.

A wave of pleasure flooded Leo’s system. Shivering, he gave a low moan. He tried to spread his legs wider for Mikey to have enough room to work on him.

While the orange-masked ninja was working on Leo’s opening, he used his other hand to play with his brother’s sensitive tail. In order to increase Leo’s pleasure even more, he kept licking over his slit, pushing the tip of his tongue inside carefully. His goal wasn’t to cause Leo a pleasure overload, but he wanted to make this moment as good for him as possible.

“M-Mikey!” Leo cried, his voice gruff and deep. “Damn! Mikey…”

Mikey grinned, adding another finger. He worked diligently on stretching his lover while stimulating his erogenous zones. Leo was squirming, moaning and churring, but when he started panting too much for Mikey’s liking, he stopped and gently pulled his fingers out of Leo’s body.

“Everything all right?” he asked softly, bending over Leo. He scrutinized his face that carried the signs of tiredness. “We can stop if you want.”

“I don’t,” Leo said quickly, although it seemed he was slowly reaching his limit. Maybe this was even worse idea than Mikey had originally thought.

But Leo was stubborn. He had always been a stubborn son of a bitch. Most of the time it was annoying, but there were moments when the same stubbornness saved their lives or held their team together. Or it just helped Leo to get what he wanted…

“I need to feel you,” he said almost pleadingly, and there was nothing Mikey would have denied him at that moment.

The orange-masked ninja nodded and lubed his cock. Locking his eyes with Leo’s, he slowly started filling him.

Leo moaned softly, but he never averted his gaze. He reached for Mikey, grabbing his arm, but his grip was so weak that Mikey wanted to weep. Nevertheless, he smiled and slowly sank onto Leo’s body, his cock buried deep in the sweet heat.

He didn’t move yet. He kept looking in Leo’s eyes, seeing his love reaching beyond the lines of life and death. Mikey suppressed the urge to shudder; he delivered a tender kiss instead. He engaged Leo in a lazy game of their tongues; the slow way his lover reacted told Mikey how tired Leo must have been. But he still kept reminding Mikey that he had a job to do. Leo’s hand slid down Mikey’s side towards the younger turtle’s firm butt and he squeezed it lightly.

Mikey understood. He made the first hesitant move and when Leo moaned into his mouth, he knew he was doing the right thing.

His first thrusts were shallow; the position didn’t allow him more, but it didn’t matter. The only important thing about the whole act was that they could feel each other’s closeness. Mikey wanted Leo to know that he was going to stay with him until the very end. He still preserved the sliver of hope that Leo’s condition might not have been fatal.

He was moving in a slow rhythm, making Leo feel good, but not trying to rob him of the last bits of his energy. Leo was sighing and churring and asking for as many kisses as Mikey was willing to give him.

Mikey was willing to give him everything. Each kiss was a new promise of his eternal love and devotion, a new proof of how much he cared. His own needs weren’t as important as Leo was. Every move, every slide of Mikey’s hands over Leo’s body, every churr and every sigh was there to worship Leo, to let him know how much he meant. And while doing that, Mikey was memorizing every bit of Leo’s being, every curve of his body, every scar, the way he moved, the way he kissed, his taste, his scent, his eyes, so deep and beautiful. His very soul. Mikey would carry that memory with him wherever he would go from here, whatever he would do. Leo was an integral part of him and as long as Mikey was alive, Leo would be alive with him. Mikey would make sure that his big brother, his leader, the love of his life wouldn’t be forgotten.

Pleasure was slowly building up in Mikey’s groin; his nerve endings were tingling with the suppressed need to move faster. He watched Leo under him; the slow pace was sweet and nice, but it wasn’t them. He could see his lover was getting impatient and worn out with the constant stimulation that was not going to bring him release any time soon.

Mikey kissed Leo one more time, enjoying the connection of their mouth to the last second before he pulled away and lifted on his hands. He ran his hand over Leo’s thigh towards his knee, lifting his leg and resting it against his shoulder. This way he got better access into Leo’s body; he could thrust deeper and faster. He delivered a small kiss on his lover’s calf and held his other leg in the biggest angle he could manage.

He started moving; it was slow and careful slides in at the beginning, but they soon turned into wild pounds into Leo’s body. Mikey made sure to hit Leo’s sweet spot each time he drew in; after years of being together he had enough knowledge and experience to know how to bring Leo the most pleasure.

Leo moaned loudly, wiggling and trembling, his muscles tightening and loosening again. Mikey knew his brother was not going to withstand this wild rhythm for long.

“Come on… Come on, Leo…” he encouraged him. Leo’s hand snaked down his plastron towards his slit, but no matter how much he tried, his penis refused to come out.

It was a sad sight. But Mikey was not going to give up while there still was a chance…

His own orgasm surprised him. It wasn’t as strong and intense as it had used to be while the two of them were making love, but it was enough for Mikey to give Leo a few really hard thrusts. Leo moaned again, grabbing the pillow under his head and clutching it tightly while Mikey was filling him with his seed.

 _Marked by his lover for the last time in this life._ That was what Mikey could see in Leo’s eyes when he pulled out carefully. Leo whimpered, the sound very quiet, but it still felt like a blade piercing Mikey’s heart.

“Leo, are you okay?” he asked worriedly, placing his palm against Leo’s cheek, studying his face.

Leo’s chest was heaving in a rapid rhythm of his breathing. He looked at Mikey with half-lidded eyes. “J-just tired. Come… Come here,” he said with obvious difficulty.

Mikey cuddled to him immediately. “I’m sorry. Was it too much?”

“No,” Leo whispered, but Mikey knew he was lying. _Fucking stubborn,_ he thought, hugging Leo gently. He listened to the sound of his breathing telling Mikey that Leo was still alive, still with him. Mikey rested his hand over Leo’s heart, feeling the light heartbeat. He smiled, tangling his one leg with Leo’s, not caring about the messy state of their bodies. Mikey’s dick was still out, though soft, and Leo needed to get his lower parts cleaned.

Minutes were passing by and Mikey thought that Leo had fallen asleep when his lover suddenly spoke:

“I love you, Mikey,” Leo said softly.

Mikey raised his head from Leo’s shoulder and looked at him. A small smile played on his lips. “I love you, too, Leo. A lot.”

Leo took a deep breath and looked at Mikey. His eyes were dark and sad.

“I’m scared,” Leo whispered. “I don’t wanna die.”

Mikey didn’t know what to say, so he did the only thing he could think of. He pulled closer to Leo’s face and kissed him, hoping Leo could feel how much he meant to his orange-masked lover. He was trying hard to suppress his tears.

Leo kissed back. It wasn’t a soft, gentle kiss. This one was aggressive, full of anger with the injustice of life. Leo didn’t deserve to end like this.

When the kiss was over, Mikey pressed his forehead to Leo’s and looked deep in his eyes.

“I don’t want you to go, either. I want you to stay here with me,” he said.

A show of a smile flew over Leo’s lips. “I’ll stay as long as I can. I’ll fight for each second we still have.”

“And I’ll be by your side,” Mikey promised. “Together till the end.”

“We sound like a bad movie,” Leo said, but although his words were meant to sound amused, there was a great deal of sadness in them.

“I don’t care,” Mikey declared. He kissed Leo again, hoping that his love was enough to bring Leo peace. What was happening to him scared the shit out of all of them and Leo must have been terrified. The prospect of leaving his family behind broken by his departure and not being able to do a thing about it must have been torturing for the mother hen Leonardo. Mikey wasn’t sure if he could do anything about it, but sure as hell he was going to try hard to bring as much comfort to Leo as possible.

Leo studied Mikey’s face for a few heartbeats before the corners of his mouth curled up into a small, exhausted smile. He closed his eyes and Mikey thought his brother was finally going to sleep, but Leo looked at him once again.

“I wish I could see the world one more time,” he whispered, his words laced by the deepest desire. “I’d love to see the lights of the city again. I’d love to hear the rush in the streets, smell the smog-filled air and see the moon above our heads…”

Leo’s eyes misted with tears. It was the first time Mikey saw his big brother cry. Leo never cried.

His heart gave him a painful squeeze. “And you will, Leo. I promise you will,” he said, hugging his lover tightly, unable to hold his own tears anymore.

*

Mikey had a plan, but he needed to get his family on board with it. The problem was that he was sure his brothers and father wouldn’t think it was a good idea, therefore Mikey wanted to be ready and tried to come up with as many arguments as he could think of. In the end he didn’t need a single one of them. When he said that he wanted to grant Leo his wish, everyone was more than willing to help, even April and Casey.

It took a couple of days to get everything ready. Donnie got the Sewer Sliders ready and made some kind of harness in which they would get Leo out of the sewers and onto the rooftops. Leo was able to walk alone around the lair with the possibility to sit down and rest whenever he needed, but leaving home on his own feet became something unimaginable.

When the big day came (or more like the big night), Leo needed help even to get in a Sewer Slider that would get them to the manhole cover through which they planned to go topside. Mikey wrapped his lover in a thick blanket so that Leo wouldn’t get cold and wet.

“Tell me if you feel uncomfortable,” he said as he checked the blanket and sat down next to Leo.

“I’m perfectly fine and I’m sure I will be until later,” Leo said. A smile that already reflected his tiredness but also his love and gratitude played on his lips.

Mikey wanted to respond, but Donnie hopped in the driver’s seat and turned to them. “Ready for the trip?” he asked with a grin.

“Always,” Leo said and chuckled. “That sounded like a bad Harry Potter line.”

“Quoting Snape is never a bad thing,” Mikey said, happy that Leo was enjoying himself.

Donnie laughed. “All right. Raph and Master Splinter will catch up with us in the other Sewer Slider. Let’s hope they won’t need a Patronus to show them the way.”

“I heard that!” Raph’s voice came from behind.

Leo laughed. That sound warmed Mikey’s heart and brought a smile onto his lips.

“We can go, Donnie,” he said to his purple-masked brother, and his smile widened as he glanced at Leo.

Donnie’s driving wasn’t as fast and carefree as it normally used to be. The bō staff wielder was careful about the water splashing from under the vehicle and he moderated the speed for Leo’s condition.

After some time they reached the meeting point with April, and Casey, who was supposed to help them get Leo out of the sewer.

With mutual effort they managed to get their brother, friend and son up on a rooftop from where there was a great view of the city flooded with light. April and Casey had brought pillows there for Leo and one more blanket and created something like a nest where Leo could sit down comfortably with Mikey and Raph’s help. Then Mikey sat down behind Leo, wrapping his arms around him and serving as a living backrest for him. The rest of the mutant-human family gathered around so that Leo could see all of them whenever he turned around, but making sure they never blocked his view at the city.

“It’s beautiful,” Leo said quietly. “The city that never sleeps. Can you hear that? The rush in the streets, cars and motorbikes…”

“Crime,” Raph said, earning nasty glances from everyone. “What? It’s true,” he defended himself.

Leo chuckled softly. “And crime, yes. It’s lively, our city. Our playground.” He tilted his head backwards and looked at Mikey. “Can you hear it singing? The sweetest song of all. About our home.”

“Yes, Leo, I can,” Mikey whispered and pressed his face in the crook between his brother’s shoulder and neck.

A gentle smile curled Leo’s lips as he looked to the sky. It was dark and they could barely see the stars. The city under them was pulsing with life, the purring of car engines could be heard, the screech of brakes being hit hard, music coming from the nearby dance school… Leo sighed quietly and listened to all of that. No one dared to disturb him. This was his moment, his party.

He took a deep breath and laughed again. “The air smells like home.”

“You mean the sewers?” Casey teased good-naturedly, earning a big grin from Leo.

“Almost,” he giggled and slid a bit lower in Mikey’s embrace, resting his head against his lover’s plastron.

Cool breeze caressed their skin.

“Aren’t you cold?” Mikey asked.

“No, I’m perfect,” Leo said, giving Mikey a soft smile.

“Good.” Mikey delivered a small kiss on Leo’s forehead and looked at the dark sky. Leo was enjoying himself. He said something again, but Mikey didn’t listen to him now. Donnie replied with amusement in his voice, making Leo laugh again.

It was nice. They spent a peaceful time on the rooftop, watching the city and talking. Mikey paid attention to Leo’s reactions, reading them. Leo was having fun, but as the time was passing by, he talked less and Mikey could see that his eyelids became heavier.

“Guys, I think it’s time to go back,” he said.

He helped Raph to get Leo on his feet and they led him to the edge of the roof where the fire escape was. Donnie wrapped Leo in the harness and together they lowered him into the back alley where April and Casey parted with them.

“Thank you for doing this for me,” Leo said to their human friends. They could hear in his voice how tired he was.

“No problem, Leo.” April hugged him. “We’d do anything for you.”

“Take care, bro. We want to see you again,” Casey said with a tentative smile.

“I’ll see what I can do about it.” Leo’s smile was soft and kind of nostalgic and Mikey wondered if Leo knew something he wasn’t sharing with the rest of them.

After the drive back to the lair Leo was so worn out that he wasn’t able to walk even with help and Raph had to carry him to bed.

“Do you need anything?” the red-masked brother asked after he made sure Leo lay comfortably. He was even willing to fluff his pillow and bring him more blankets in case his big brother and leader was cold.

“No, thank you. I’m good,” Leo said, smiling. “You did a lot for me.”

Raph looked away, a dark shade coloring his cheeks. “It’s nothing,” he mumbled awkwardly.

Donnie chuckled, but then he turned to Leo as well. “No headaches?”

“No, Donnie. You made sure I had none tonight.”

Master Splinter came up to the bed. “Rest, my son,” he said, resting his hand on Leo’s shoulder in a gesture of love and care. “It was an eventful night for you. I’m sure Michelangelo will take care of you.”

“I will,” Mikey said and crawled into bed next to his lover.

Leo’s lips curled into an affectionate smile. He moved his hand a little; it was obvious that lifting it was too much for him right now.

Mikey reached for Leo’s hand and captured it in his palm. He squeezed it lightly. Leo’s eyes shone with a bright spark, but it was soon gone.

“We will leave you to sleep now,” Master Splinter announced. “Goodnight, Leonardo.”

Leo turned to the rest of his family. “Thank you for everything. I love you.”

“We love you, too, Leo. Even Raph,” Donnie said, amused, glancing at Raph, who looked embarrassed again.

“Goodnight, Fearless,” he said in a tone that no one had ever heard from him. Too many emotions were mixing in it, but one was dominant and it made everyone smile. Raph didn’t need words to express what was important to him. They understood it and didn’t press him.

Leo gave a long sigh and smiled again. “Goodnight,” he whispered as his and Mikey’s family was leaving the room. Mikey realized that something in his voice didn’t sound right and he couldn’t shake the feeling Leo meant to say ‘goodbye’.  

They stayed alone. Leo looked at Mikey, his smile still present. Mikey pushed his fears into a dark corner of his mind and returned the smile.

“Did you enjoy the trip?” he asked and pressed a small kiss on the back of Leo’s hand he was still holding.

“Yes. It was beautiful,” Leo replied, dark blue eyes fixed on Mikey’s face. “I loved it. The lights… the sounds… the wind that touched my skin…” He fell silent for a moment, closing his eyes. He took a few breaths before he opened his eyes again and looked at Mikey. “I want to remember it like that… Everyone I love there with me… You holding me…”

“I’m always here for you. I always will be,” Mikey whispered.

“I know…”Leo closed his eyes again. It seemed to be hard for him to keep them open.

“Master Splinter was right. You should rest.” Mikey stroked Leo’s cheek gently. “Go to sleep. There’s no point in fighting your tiredness. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“I love you, Mikey…” Leo breathed out. His chest lowered, but it never rose again. The hand that rested in Mikey’s palm became heavy.

“Leo?” Mikey whispered, but there was no response. Mikey’s heart squeezed painfully and his vision blurred. “Leo,” he said louder with the same outcome. He bent to Leo’s nostrils and listened carefully, but his brother, his lover, his everything was gone.

Tears started rolling down his cheeks as he held Leo’s hand. “Goodbye, Leo. I love you,” he whispered and kissed Leonardo’s lips for the last time.

*

_In peace and silence the warrior left the land of living. His soul parted from his beloved one, his family and friends. He felt no pain, no fear, no torment, only love and joy to have lived such a wonderful life. His last breath belonged to everyone he loved, his last heartbeat to his special one._

_He loved and was loved._

_He slipped away into another realm with a smile on his lips, looking forward to a new adventure…_


End file.
